Breathwork: a “side door” approach to healing

Breathing : one of the most integral processes involved in keeping the human body alive. It’s a process which is directed by both the autonomic and somatic nervous systems ie. it can flow on its own and/or we can directly affect the pace, depth, etc. with intention. 

Some of us think about our breath a lot. Some of us rarely think of it at all. 

Often touted as something that you can control to calm yourself down, the breath has become a struggling point for some. “Take a deep breath,” “breathe deeply,” “breathe into your belly,” “slow your breath” … there are so many directives aimed at using the breath to hack the nervous system’s response to danger and unease. Do these directives work? Sometimes yes, sometimes no. 

When I think of manipulating the breath in this way, I think of it as being a very “head-on”, “straight-on,” or “front door” approach. It feels to me like having someone banging on the front door tell you to quiet down and chill out. Does that work? Maybe in some circumstances. Maybe not. 

For me, I prefer a gentler, “side door” approach. Like the close, trusted friend, that gives a gentle knock on the side door and then glides in to provide support in ways that may not rock your world or feel like a “life hack” or “rescue.” Rather, it feels like the laying of a foundation, or maintenance cleaning that helps things to move along just a little more smoothly (or a lot!). 

This healing breathwork that I have enjoyed and now facilitate is the “side door” approach to breathwork. Can you use it to interrupt a panic attack? Maybe??? Is that its best use? Probably not. 

However, as a “side door” approach, healing breathwork feels, to me, like magic. It’s not just about “breathing it out” after a hard day (thought you certainly could, just like you might call that trusted friend to vent after a hard day). It’s about practicing the breath regularly so that you can maintain a level of safety and presence. 

While I enjoy this “front door”/“side door” analogy for this breathwork, another also comes to mind: decluttering. 

In this analogy, the “front door” approach is that periodic (as in very rare) deep cleaning that you might do, where you go through your closet/garage/entire home and get rid of a whole bunch of stuff - they way you might do if you were doing a long distance move. Does it clear out the unneeded stuff? Yep. Does it help you feel “lighter?” Yep. 

Healing breathwork, in the beginning, is much like the decluttering process that takes time. Sometimes (some sessions) leave you feeling like you have cleared out a whole bunch of old rubbish leaving room for air, joy and spaciousness. Some sessions feel like you focused on one cluttered corner, and while you chipped away at it, you know you’ll be revisiting it in the future to create more space. Once you’ve done much of the visible decluttering, the breath begins to take you into less visible spaces to clear out old stories, sensations, and emotions. Sometimes this feels dramatic, and sometimes it feels light and easy. Amid it all though, you feel a greater sense of spaciousness, ease and safety. You begin to have a better understanding of your home (your bodymind) and this gives you room for greater patience and self-compassion both with yourself and with others.